One of the greatest gifts of getting older has been getting to know myself a little better. I care less about trying to please everyone, and I have learned to value quiet moments, meaningful conversations and the ordinary days that once seemed so easy to overlook. Yet there is something that still surprises me. Sometimes I think I had more courage when I was younger. Every meaningful step outside my comfort zone seems much bigger than it used to. Building this website has been one of those steps. It may sound like a simple thing, but for me it has represented much more than learning how to build a website. It has meant allowing myself to be seen.
That has never come naturally to me. I’ve always been a private person, and over the years I’ve become even more protective of my personal life. Most of what truly matters to me is shared with my family and closest friends. Writing about my own experiences has therefore felt surprisingly vulnerable. Even now, every time I publish a new article, a small voice still asks whether I have shared too much. Then I remind myself of something important. This is not my whole story and could never be. None of us can fit an entire lifetime into a few articles, Instagram posts or a conversation over coffee. We only ever offer small glimpses of our lives, but never the whole book.
Like many people, I have wondered whether I should simply leave social media altogether. Part of me longs for a quieter life, one with fewer notifications and fewer opportunities to compare because for me the comparison has never made me feel stronger, it has only distracted me from my own path. But a part of me genuinely enjoys the connection it brings. I love celebrating other people’s happiness. Though every now and then, comparison finds its way in. I see women who appear to balance everything so effortlessly. They have successful careers, healthy routines, beautiful families and somehow still seem to find time for themselves. Before I even realize what is happening, I begin asking myself questions that are both familiar and unfair.
- Why can’t I be that disciplined?
- Why do I struggle with consistency?
- How does she make it look so easy?
I know that social media shows only a small fraction of someone’s life. I know that every person carries experiences, disappointments, fears and struggles that rarely appear in a photograph. And yet, knowing that doesn’t make me immune to it.
So perhaps this is the thought I want to leave with you. The next time you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, just pause for a moment. Remember that you are comparing your everyday life with someone’s carefully chosen moment. Remember that you cannot see the years that shaped them, the losses they carry, the fears they keep to themselves or the courage it may have taken simply to get out of bed that morning. Just as they cannot see yours.
I hope that each time you compare yourself to others becomes shorter and shorter. I hope you will find the courage to stay with yourself and come back to yourself again and again.
With care
Rannveig
Leave a Reply